Donald where's yer Troosers

This is the McSporran tartan and I am currently in the process of having a Kilt outfit made for me in this fine design. With a name like McSporran and a fine head of ginger hair I have often thought of moving to America to make my fortune selling Whisky and shortbread...how could they resist !!!!.

It's not often that I have had the chance to wear a kilt, in fact the first time I ever wore the full regalia was at my own wedding. I was a bit nervous about the etiquette (sitting down without exposing yourself to your new Mother-in-law etc..) so I decided to wear it to go out a for a few drinks with my bride to be a couple of days before the big day just to break it in (the kilt not the Bride !!!).

It was a quiet Wednesday night and we went to the Burnside bar in Campbeltown where there were only 3 other people in the place. Catherine went over to get us a table (in case there was a late rush) and I went to get us a drink. The barman was busy in the adjoining public bar so I struck up a conversation with one of the other patrons who was slumped on his stool and who turned out to be from Texas (the state, not the distinctly average Scottish pop group).

Frank (for that was his name) was very impressed with my highland dress and said (in a very broad Texan accent) " Jeez, I love the kilt. Before I head back to Houston i'm gonna get me one of them". I explained to Frank the reason for me wearing it and he immediately insisted on buying me a drink. "Thanks very much Frank" I said, "i'll have a pint of Guinness please". Frank rang the bell on the bar and turned back to me and gave a long hard stare at my Kilt. "What's your Tartan" (remember the Texan accent) he said, "Oh She'll have a Vodka and Coke thanks" I replied.........Boom Boom.